Lemon meringue pie begins with a delicious, crumbly pastry pie. Add to that a combination of sweet lemon filling with a soft meringue topping. Does life get any better? Hardly.
Lemon meringue pie originated during the Middle Ages when lots of fat and butter was used for cooking.
There was a young boy named Engeram. He was nine years old, and he was an apprentice to the town’s baker, Elias. Elias was known for his terrible temper and lack of intellect.
At the rooster’s crow, Elias stood in his shop mixing ingredients to form pie crust for the pies he would bake that day. Elias’s meat pie, fruit pie, and fish pie were mouth watering, and he had them on hand for the noblemen who bought them daily.
In a bronze caldron, Engeram mixed sugar, salt, and cornstarch on a low fire, preparing to make an apple pie. The lad was exhausted, as his eight younger siblings and five older siblings had been crying the entire night, having contracted cholera, consumption, and realistic nightmares. Engeram’s exhaustion caused him to add lemon rind to the sugar batter, rather than apple. The lemon rind was intended for the mashed venison pie.
Still half asleep, Engeram mixed the lemon rind with egg yolks, lemon juice, and a tub of lard. He added the lemon mixture to 25 empty pie crusts, which Elias had prepared a mere fifteen minutes earlier.
When Elias the Baker realized Engeram’s stupid mistake, he cried out, “Elias, you imbecile!” He boxed the boy on the ears. “I will strangle you with my bare hands, you half-blooded son of a zebra!” Elias boxed the child again. Engeram was small, and he was no match to the beefy Elias. He reached for the nearest bowl which contained two tons of meringue intended to be formed into small, airy cookies. He threw the meringue on Engeram’s head, momentarily rendering him blinded. Elias ran to his home, packed up nothing, for he had nothing, and then fled to the forests.
For the next five years, Engeram lived in the forests of Meodwolf. He lived amongst the elk, and lived off of goose eggs and berries. Meanwhile, the meringue which he had spilled on Elias’s head also landed on top of the lemon pies. Elias’s beautiful daughter heard the yelling from her house, and walked into the shop prepared to stop her father’s frequent temper tantrums. In the shop, she saw twenty five pies covered in meringue and automatically put them in the oven. She took them out fifteen minutes later. Never one to deny himself pie, Elias ate one of the pies. The pie touched his tongue and he smiled. “This tastes like a slice of heaven itself.” He said.
Elias sold every one of those pies, which he aptly, yet not originally, named Lemon Meringue Pie. Engeram never did receive credit for inventing this scrumptious confection. However, he never did die of cholera, which was a feat in its own right.
Lemon Meringue Pie:
1 and 1/2 cups sugar
1/8 tsp. salt
1/2 cup cornstarch
1 tp. grated lemon rind
2 cups boiling water
3 egg yolks
1/2 cup lemon juice
2 tsps. margarine or butter
1/4 tsp. sald
3 egg whites
6 tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract or lemon juice
Mix sugar, salt, cornstarch and lemon rind in a saucepan. Add water and stir until blended. Cook over low flame while stirring so there are no lumps. Beat egg yolks and add 2 tbsp. of sugar mixture to egg yolks. Mix will, now pour eggs into saucepan. Stir (again). Add lemon juice and margarine/butter and cook until thick. Remove from heat, allow to cool, pour into pie crust.
Add salt to egg whites and beat until foamy. Gradually add sugar 1 tbsp. at a time. Add vanilla and beat till its all blended. Cover pie with meringue. Meringue must touch pie crust or it will melt. It should have peaks.
Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Cool. Refrigerate. Eat.