There are many reasons people get sad, but depression is different than sadness. Depression drags you down. It is a mixture of neurons in your head which cause you to feel like you can’t leave your house, like you can’t do anything right. You become tired and lethargic and can’t get yourself to complete the most basic task. You feel utterly alone, like the world is caving in on you. Sometimes, its hard to breath. Depression stinks and the only way to get rid of it is to kick its a@$#.
Here are some ideas to get rid of depression naturally without medication, which always have side effects such as sudden death, suicide, loss of hearing, urinary incontinence, impotence, and migraine:
1. Get a lot of sunshine. Open all your windows. Go outside when its sunny even though it might take all of your strength.
2. Do exercise. Really hard exercise that nearly kills you is best because it provides natural endorphins. You’ll feel good after. You can do easy exercise too, I guess.
3. Bug your friends. Hang out with them and laugh. Make fun of your shoes, or whatever it is you do with your friends. Laughing at shoes is the number one activity, though.
4. Eat healthy. Ok, whatever, you should, I guess.
5. Smile at people. Even snobby people who never will smile back. Look specifically for people who you know will not say hi, but will look at you, shocked. Its an amusing experience which every human should have no later than the age of seven.
6. Read a really sad book where everyone is dying. It’ll make you feel better about your life. Your father isn’t an alien created by the Vulgarians to destroy all of humanity. Take that Urelca Spidronte.
7. Exhibit signs of neurosis. As you walk alone, pretend that you are walking your three dogs as you chat with your best friend, Kyle. Studies have proven that this is an effective means of producing pheromones.
8. Buy a cat? I wouldn’t. They mess up your furniture and you have to clean their litter. And they don’t look at you. Buy a goldfish… never mind. Buy a picture of a cat or a dog.