Pink Bubble Gum

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For many people in today’s society, gum is at once a crushing reminder of dreams unfulfilled and a snack which never does fill the stomach.

The history of gum is long and gory, filled with triumphs, disappointments, and gruesome deaths.  As usual, it all began with the Greeks.  Seriously, Greeks used to chew the resin from mastic trees for entertainment.  Try it, you may like it.

Since the resin and mastic tree trick, various inventors have tried their hand at creating gum, yet the gum always broke up and became pretty gross after just a few chews. Finally, in 1928, a 23 year old man named Walter Diemer set out to create a gum that could blow bubbles without breaking apart. He was an accountant and that was only part of his good luck.  He was also lucky because he worked for the Fleer Chewing Gum Factory.  Who wouldn’t want to work for a gum factory – named Fleer?

Well, Walter came up with a succesful recipe.  How did he come upon the winning recipe you ask?  The answer is, as usual, by accident.  What do we learn from this?  The importance of accidents.

Walter accidentally created the most awesome gum ever, which could blow strong, lasting BUBBLES!  The only problem was that the gum was white, so it looked a bit nauseating.  To make it more appealing, he dyed it pink.  Why pink, you ask?  Ummmm, it was the only color available to him.  Seriously, I am not making this up.  What do we learn from this?  When in doubt, choose pink.

The next step for Walter was to sell his gum. At the end of the day, it always comes down to money.  So, Walter taught his salespeople how to make huge bubbles.  Let me say that again.  He TAUGHT his people how to blow bubbles.  In a classroom.  This was one class that you did not want to fail.  Did he give out certificates?

Anyway,  the schooling payed off because the enormous, flamboyant bubbles of the salespeople caught the attention of customers who also wanted to look cool by walking around with huge pink bubbles coming out of their mouths.  Another check for our buddy, Walter.  What do we learn from this?

A. The importance of peer pressure

B. If you want friends, buy lots of gum and

C. learn how to blow bubbles.  No, not in the pool.  Did you even read this article?

Love and Gum,

Monteith

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About Miranda S. Wrightz

I breath one breath at a time, like a normal mermaid.

5 responses to “Pink Bubble Gum

  1. Matilda

    I did read this article and I took great solace in your meaningful enlightening, delightfully gooey, mysteriously chewy, prose. Human knowledge of the dexterity of the tongue, historically, is traced back to the very days of Walter. Though you omitted the very pertinent detail of where he produce his very first bubble, it was cold and dark, dank and shallow the water hole on which he sat. Cooling to the bottom, unpleasantly scented that fishing hole was.
    Bubbles for all, oh ye decker of halls.

  2. The first bubble was blown in a swimming pool while coming up for air. Walter was chewing the gum as he swam in the Fleer Chewing Gum Factory’s Olympic sized pool, (against the lifeguard’s rules). It was a dramatic moment, and you can find this very information in the Guinness Book of World Records of 1928 in the fine print section.

  3. No, he was not. Ducks were not allowed in the pool. The company was unaccepting that way.

    • Matilda

      You know his take on segregation. He is going to whip the old trusty time machine to remedy that. He is going pro bono with ducks. No duck, nor muffin, shall be left behind. End quote.
      I, on the other hand, adore in accepting behaviour. It’s where I get me nachos from.

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