Top Ten Reasons Americans are Addicted to Cheesecake


For centuries, philosophers and mathematicians have pondered the meaning of life.  Why do humans have ability to speak?  Are we not unworthy of this great power? Are dogs capable of acing English 101, yet refrain from doing so out of intense fair of public praise?  This culminates into a refrain sung by heroes of old.  And so I ask of you, dear reader, why didn’t you bake me a cheesecake yesterday?

Cheesecake has hounded the American psyche for centuries.  A mixture of sugar, cream cheese, and graham cracker crust, the combination has enforced a new standard in society. From the time Aristotle emitted his first babble of wisdom, the ancient Greeks have known that the key to a good friend is synonymous with perfect, mouth watering cheese cake.

Let us ponder no longer, fellow humans of the free world.  Let us (and by us, I mean you) create the essential, decadent cheese cake to share with someone special (ahem).

Fear not, humanity, merely store ingredients such as the following in your cupboard, fridge, or car trunk at all times until the day you breathe your last:

Cream cheese


vanilla extract


sour cream

graham crackers or graham cracker crust

margarine or butter.

There is an endless array with which to combine the above ingredients. Wishing you luck in winning the cheesecake contest of the century.

Yours Truly,

Monteith Slythersuth


About Miranda S. Wrightz

I breath one breath at a time, like a normal mermaid.

5 responses to “Top Ten Reasons Americans are Addicted to Cheesecake

  1. If I may comment Sir Slytheruth?

  2. Monteith

    Comments are more than welcome, Apostrophe.

  3. What’s you’re take on rabbits hobbits and all things elf? Do you truly believe they belong in our world? Really? Like c’mon.

  4. Monteith

    I believe that discrimination against creatures of elvish descent is a crime equal to or greater than discrimination against creatures of the unicorn race.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: