After a harrowing experience at grand central station, I came to the ultimate conclusion that I need more food. And who can make it for me, you ask in all innocence? A spectacular stander-by. And by that, I mean you. Yes, you. The one with the two hands, two eyes, and one nose. Why you have only one nose is not a pertinent question and is irrelevant to the thesis of this blog, which is cupcakes.
Permit me to emphasize the likeness of cupcakes to happiness. “The grandeur of ultimate salvation will come with a large cupcake,” as was expounded upon by the great cupcake baker, Plato. Plato understood that the perfect mixture of flour, milk, eggs, and sugar was the answer to all ills. All evils banish in the light of a perfect cupcake.
Monteith’s recipe for the perfect cupcake (for you to make for me, Monteith):
1. Get a recipe book
2. Realize that recipe books have but two cupcake recipes, throw recipe book in trash as recipe books are wasteful
3. Google “delicious cupcake recipe”
4. Follow the directions
5. Go to store if your missing ingredients, i.e. sugar
6. Place cupcakes in box and address to me, Monteith
Important: The winner of this contest will have the knowledge that they have won my, Monteith’s, cupcake contest
Reminder: Have cupcakes at the ready at all times
Adios my cupcake lovers of the millenium!
And remember, a cupcake in the mouth, a hurricane down South.