A Perspective on Sandwiches

Tofu_Egg_Mayo_Sandwiches

A conciliatory reaction to the epistemological perspective of failures in society is naturally to turn to the one essential item which is unequivocal, yet utterly transcendent in time, place, and space.  The sandwich.  Sandwiches bloom and blossom in the one part of society that has been untouched by atmospheric and barometric pressure.  Sandwiches will live on in our hearts because they retain their innocence, their youth, yes, their very essence, in a world which has been largely displaced by gubernatorial restraints.

How to make a sandwich for me, Monteith:

1. Use a sharp knife.  Sharpen you knife.  It is not sharp enough.

2. Cut a slice of bread.  Paleo dieters of the world, you are immediately disqualified and will receive a reactionary notice

3. Peruse a filling, as found in the abundance of butters and jams found in the aisle of consumer paradises, otherwise known as grocery stores

4. Peruse a can of tuna, a slice of meat, a slap of peanut butter, or another spread with a protein-like quality

5. Cut some more bread

6. Place bread above and below the filling.  Dexterity is a gift and should be revered as such

7. Your imagination will lead you to the ultimate in sandwich design if you allow it.  Meditation is an option, but not recommended for those who suffer slight panic attacks or regularly ingest Cohminidious Posious

8. Send to me, Monteith.

Important: Sandwiches have persisted and will persist for time, hereafter.

Au Revoir Sandwich Eternals of the Netherworld!

Advertisements

About Miranda S. Wrightz

I breath one breath at a time, like a normal mermaid.

2 responses to “A Perspective on Sandwiches

  1. Arcadia

    I find this article very offensive as a one handed being. Please take into consideration the feelings of beings like such in the future
    Much thanks, Handless and Happy

  2. Monteith

    Arcadia, I apologize for my insensitivity and will not overlook beings such as yourself in future posts.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: